June
12, 2007
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This
journey to Rwanda took an unexpected detour in May. Our son Jacques saw a
doctor about a lump on the side of his neck. A series of tests kept
giving all of us a more and more frightening picture of his health. I
watched the needle biopsy performed on the tumour. It was inconclusive.
Then an M.R.I. scan and an open biopsy followed by more waiting for
results from the lab. Just watching him wake from a general anesthetic
was unnerving. This child of ours, now thirty-four and married with two
little girls. We’d had some scares with him growing up , but nothing like
this. Cancer was becoming more and more the uninvited guest at the door.
Rwanda
became less important. Was my son going to have something that would kill
him? Was he going to be in pain? What would become of his family, his
wife Lesley, the little girls Isabelle 4 years and Kyrielle 1 1/2 years.
People who had been through the waiting told us this was the most
difficult time even compared to a long treatment of the unspeakable word
that was on our tongues but we too afraid to be say. Not our kid. Not in
our house. But it came anyway. Hodgkin’s lymphoma Stage 2 type A. The
doctor said you don’t get much better odds of survival than he will have
of being treated and cured (90-95%). I know then I thought, “The trip to
Rwanda is back on”. Then I watched the bone marrow biopsy. He said it
wasn’t as bad as getting a filling in a tooth. For years he’s dealt well
with the pain of power tool injuries on his job. Now in two days he would
start 6 months of Chemotherapy. A series of four drugs administered every
two weeks. It would take his hair and it would make him feel more and
more tired with each session. Some react react, some don’t, we were
advised. Where would he fall? He always managed to work with a hangover
we reasoned. Maybe the nausea won’t bother him. The evening after his
first treatment, he went out with Lesley for a nice dinner. Next day we
all went to the Yellow Springs Street Fair. Sunday morning , 5:00AM, at
his request, we went fishing. He caught the biggest bass of his life. We
drove the 40 miles home, elated. Sunday afternoon it finally hit him. He
was extremely tired and slept all afternoon and night. On Monday he said
he felt at about 75% of his normal self. Wednesday evening he said he was
having trouble thinking under pressure at work.
But
I’m going. How can I rationalize going to Africa in a land of turmoil at
a time like this?
Well, the turmoil thing is slowing down. I’m not worried about my
personal safety. I’m more worried about Marie’s safety in the job she
does in the inner city as an outreach minister. The police go with
caution in some of the places she works. So how can I leave my son?
Because I know I’m not leaving him alone. He has a good network around
him. Marie has already done a lot of babysitting when he goes to
appointments. He has Lesley and he has an understanding employer, willing
to take care of his interests. He hasn’t said, “Dad, you should go.” But he
hasn’t given me the look that says, “Stay”. He won’t even be finished
with half his Chemo when I get back at the end of August. I’ll be here
for the worst part. I’m sure it will be a shock to see him after seven
weeks. It may be a shock to see me too. I usually lose a lot of weight on
a trip like this.
A
good friend of ours, Shelly Knupp , who was a Peace Corps Volunteer in
Zimbabwe several years after we had been there is also fighting a tough
cancer. She recenty switched professions from chemical engineer to
dietician. Shelly has encouraged Jacques with dieting and getting more
toward a vegetarian regime. He got into that when he first thought he was
sick. He’s backsliding a little, but I think it is only temporary.
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Itinerary
George's
Route
Archive
Aug 21, 2007
Aug 16, 2007
Aug 14, 2007
Aug 12-13, 2007
Aug 10, 2007
Aug 6-8, 2007
Aug 5, 2007
Aug 1, 2007
July 30, 2007
July 29, 2007
July 23-25, 2007
July 24, 2007
July 22, 2007
July 20, 2007
July 15-17, 2007
July 12-13, 2007
July 13, 2007
July 12, 2007
July 8, 2007
June 30, 2007
June 12, 2007
June 11, 2007
Mediation Classes
and Case Studies
Nairobi
Kakamega/Lubao
Bujumbura, Rwanda
Kigali, Rwanda
Goma, Congo
Photos
1960's Africa
Germany
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